Success and Failure

To hit bottom is to fall from grace.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

We may not always get what we want, but surely we will get what we deserve.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

Don't think, just do.

Reiko Horton, in Success and Failure

I want what I want when I want it!

Roy Horton, (at age six), in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters.

Ross Presser, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty