Submissions
These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.
5203–5222 (5841)
tiny.ag/af9a0hrm · submitted 2002
You only learn
something from those who disagree with you
tiny.ag/jzykbokw · submitted 2002
When I was little, I really wanted a bicycle, so I prayed every day that God would send me one. Later, I realized God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked God to forgive me.
tiny.ag/fhxdwaha · submitted 2002
We spend too much time arguing with people we should just shoot in the face.
tiny.ag/xteen5is · submitted 2002
If you encounter someone who cannot be swayed from his opinion on a matter, no matter the evidence, don't waste any further mental effort on him-- do not even waste time being baffled by his spectacular immunity to reality. Banish him from your mind completely and move on. His mental dead weight will only drag you down.
tiny.ag/89sbzqwo · submitted 2002
A leftist will never let what he knows get in the way of what he believes.
tiny.ag/p9iuad61 · submitted 2002
I read somewhere that if you tell yourself you're intelligent, you get intelligent. Okay, I'm intelligent.
tiny.ag/d8jfwhby · submitted 2002
When someone tells you lifeÂ’s a dream, you can bet theyÂ’re about to inconvenience you very badly.-
The Velocity Gospel, Steve Aylett *
If a memo burns faster than you can read it, nature is telling you something.-
Dummyland, Steve Aylett *
Progress accelerates downhill.-
The Velocity Gospel, Steve Aylett *
How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message? -
Slaughtermatic, Steve Aylett *
We have truth in order not to die of art.-
Bigot Hall, Steve Aylett *
One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of godÂ’s existence. -
Atom, Steve Aylett *
Authority insists that misery is an education. -
Only an Alligator, Steve Aylett *
Honesty is the voice that is acceptable in every matter. -
Shamanspace, Steve Aylett *
The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice. -
Bigot Hall, Steve Aylett *
Steve Aylett, Aylett is a satire author from England
tiny.ag/pkx6c13z · submitted 2002
Never has there been so much owed by so many to so few.
tiny.ag/joriwcbo · submitted 2002
Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth las for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour."
tiny.ag/j2lkeghf · submitted 2002
Need directions?
-God
Seen on a billboard, Best regards to "RHJunior"
tiny.ag/4gdtj9wp · submitted 2002
To kill a man you must first kill his name.
Unknown, (era of Marcus Aurelius)
tiny.ag/tursi38o · submitted 2002
The essence of war is not violence but lust.
tiny.ag/7c3bnyog · submitted 2002
Live each moment to it's fullest for you never know what the next has to offer.
tiny.ag/e27leojt · submitted 2002
The essence of war is violence.
Lord Fisher, former First Lord of British Admitalty
tiny.ag/zc5xkdje · submitted 2002
Never trust a man completely who offers to help you solely out of the goodness of his heart.
tiny.ag/fzmqxgv2 · submitted 2002
All points are parallel by the Points are Parallel Theorem 4.7.7.9.8.2. We, Miller and Adam, the Points are Parallel Activist/Advocates (PPAA), have created a standing two column proof in 2nd Block Geometry class.
Adam Barron, Hello, Miller, my fellow PPAA
tiny.ag/1oemev6a · submitted 2002
An eagle may rule the skies, but a ferret doesn't get sucked into the engine of a jet plane, either.
Heard it from Adam, PPAA, Hi, points are parallel
tiny.ag/ezsohf9p · submitted 2002
APPLAUSE IS AS MUCH A MEASURE OF THE AUDIENCE AS OF THE PERFORMER
tiny.ag/lrxnpyox · submitted 2002
If I had one piece of advice for the children of the next generation, it would be this: Don't give power to people who don't respect God, because they will surely never respect you.
5203–5222 (5841)