Aphorisms Galore!

Submissions

These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.

4741–4760 (5232)

tiny.ag/rq3p2lb1  ·  submitted 2002

Today's world, just as it is, contains the sum of the utility of all people of all times. Which implies: the highest morality consists in being useless.

Milan Kundera, Immortality

tiny.ag/dceqnvim  ·  submitted 2002

Some of the most unattractive individuals in the world feel that they must multiply at all costs. They are apparently under the illusion that the burden of ugliness becomes lighter if it is shared with descendants.

Milan Kundera, The Farewell Party

tiny.ag/sxojbruv  ·  submitted 2002

The desire for order is a virtuous pretext, an excuse for virulent misanthropy.

Milan Kundera, The Farewell Party

tiny.ag/0syxgdx3  ·  submitted 2002

At 15 I thought only of study; at 30 I began playing my role; at 40 I was sure of myself; at 50 I was conscious of my place in the Universe; at 60 I was no longer argumentative; and now at 70 I can follow my heart's desire without violating custom.

Confucius, from the Analects

tiny.ag/3wtxmjol  ·  submitted 2002

"Imitation is the highest form of flattery."

Unknown

tiny.ag/zjyovkmr  ·  submitted 2002

"Men aren't dogs! Dogs are loyal and faithful."

Unkown

tiny.ag/ezggqsik  ·  submitted 2002

"Friends will help you move. Good Friends will help you hide bodies."

Unknown

tiny.ag/nmddikgx  ·  submitted 2002

A friend is someone who may laugh out loud when Life knocks you on yer butt, but they will give you a hand getting back on yer feet.

Phyllis Steinhauser, (creator)

tiny.ag/rhghgdn4  ·  submitted 2002

Dont borrow trouble, the interest is too damned high!

Phyllis Steinhauser

tiny.ag/pgmlrbz1  ·  submitted 2002

"If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bulls**t."

Unknown

tiny.ag/2smk7uz1  ·  submitted 2002

"If ifs were fifths we'd all be drunk."

Unknown, heard from a lady at BINGO night

tiny.ag/9ahhj0mu  ·  submitted 2002

When a man takes your wife, send him a dollar and thank him for taking out the trash

Unknown

tiny.ag/7frgxbhq  ·  submitted 2002

There is nothing more comforting, more terrifying and more safe, than the shadows of night. They engulf you in a blanket of darkness, and in the shadows there is more life than anywhere in the world.

Valeria McHenry, The shadows of Night

tiny.ag/7idvb8hg  ·  submitted 2002

It's only because what is inside is so vulnerable that the shell has to be so hard

Brian Warner

tiny.ag/8cgk7lfx  ·  submitted 2002

What's the point in being alive if you can't engage in some savage battles against all the odds?

Hon. John C. Crosbie, From a speech delivered in 2000

tiny.ag/a6bfxjkd  ·  submitted 2002

"I am wealthy in sunny days, and I have spent them lavishly."

Henry David Thoreau, do you think he plays golf?

tiny.ag/g3szhyrn  ·  submitted 2002

Please excuse me, I feel a fit of sobriety and reason setting in on me, and must go take my medication....

Dave Matthews, Learning from the Masters

tiny.ag/mujqs2yq  ·  submitted 2002

"If a drunkard in a sober fit is the dullest of mortals, an enthusiast in a reason-fit is not the most lively."

Herman Melville, from "The Confidence Man"

tiny.ag/rir4shzl  ·  submitted 2002

"He who hates vice, hates humanity"

Thrasea, via Melville's "Confidence Man"

tiny.ag/cn6w8k9d  ·  submitted 2002

"I once thought the world revolved around the sun, but then I grew older and wiser, and realized it revolved around me."

Travis Buroker

4741–4760 (5232)